Catbeast

by Peter Volk

Was this woman lived next door to us, right
With a yellow nightgown and a hairy jaw
Who musta had about a million cats
So we all called her the Catbeast.
And no shit, it was the yowlingest
Meowlingest house in the fucking world, man
Knew a kid said he'd smelt it way over the river
When there wasn't even no breeze to carry on.
The Catbeast said they wasn't even cats
And the black ones were souls of cheating bloody blokes
And the tabbies were souls of snooty bloody bitches
And the rest was all the souls of the kids
Who'd ever come trespassing onto her lawn.
Well the Catbeast died around Boxing Day
And all the cats suddenly carked it too
The cops wore gasmasks, and we were kind of sad
But at least we could go get our cricket balls.

 

This poem is taken from Total Cardboard issue 6, and remains under copyright. For more information see www.totalcardboard.com