Unconfirmed Reports

It was not until the majority of the items had been placed into specially greased railway cars that laughter was even considered. But, as is so frequently said (generally by persons who I wish to avoid), “When it rains it pours”. Chuckles, guffaws, titters, snickers, etc. came about in huge torrents. Using his tongue to quickly shovel milk into his mouth was Cornelia Hypertenuse’s slave, Mr Haggis. When his judgment told him that he had ad enough Mr Haggis wiped his lips clean and replaced his mask. This item was white and black and depicted a simplified smiling face: black eyes and mouth on the white part, white eyes and mouth on the black.

Having finished his milk, Mr Haggis looked towards Cornelia for further instructions. Cornelia’s eyes were not to be seen, suggesting that her mind was not present. He started to stealthily move away.

“You cannot escape,” she mentioned. Her eyelids remained closed. Squawking was heard outside. Mr Haggis gazed fearfully about to no apparent avail. “Draw, Haggis.” Mr Haggis knew what this meant. He used marking things to make dark marks on a big piece of paper. Cornelia directed him – telling him when and where to mark. Afterwards she shackled him to his Perch inside the railway car.

Mr Haggis had always been a slave. Why did he now wish to frolic with the birds? Nearby was a refrigerator. Beyond that was a fairly odd chap tapping into a lap top computer. If asked his name he would say “Nils”. That was not his name. Boris Fischer was. He had some kind of arrangement with the persons who install “snow” on televisions. Cornelia now made Mr Haggis seek the nature of this pact. Mr Haggis was not one to play with words like a cat with prey. He asked “Nils” directly. “Nils” did not cause anything to happen but asked Mr Haggis where he acquired such a preposterous notion. It became obvious to Cornelia that not many persons would give information to a known slave. Mr Haggis asked “Nils” about the arrangement every day, producing a cosy equilibrium.

One day “Nils’” lap top computer failed to work. Consequentially service persons came. They installed a brilliantly polished, whitish round thing. At the centre of this was a face. “Nils” felt that he should come to some sort of arrangement with this new device. Unfortunately the new device hated the installers of “snow”. It even wished great pain on them and their followers. “Nils” tried to conceal his own arrangement but after a short amount of time was shaking badly and was unable to keep his food down.

Cornelia made Mr Haggis open the refrigerator. There was a lot of milk in there. There were some jars of furry matter and some metallic spheres. Cornelia said not to touch these last things as they belonged to “Nils”. She made him remove a glass jar with a gauze cloth fastened tightly to the jar’s apex with a rubber band. No life was seen in the water contained in here but nonetheless Mr Haggis retrieved it and handed it to her. Cornelia’s eyelids displayed relief as she held it. Mr Haggis watched without emotion as Cornelia inserted a teat pipette, withdrew some fluid and placed it on a glass slide. She placed this on a microscope and gazed at it with joy.

“More have arrived,” she murmured, “I’m not sure yet if the reproduction is sexual or otherwise – I suspect otherwise because I have not seen anything which can be accused of being genitalia.” Cornelia did not see the many-legged white cylinder walk past, nor did Mr Haggis tell her. “Nils” was busy trying not to be harmed by the round thing. He assumed that he would be safe if he was quiet about the arrangement. This was correct, to some extent. Many times that he passed it, it would shower him with shower him with a mixture of food and saliva, sometimes with iron filings in it.

“Go to your place.” Mr Haggis knew what this meant. He ambled to a strong-smelling section of the carriage’s wall. Here was a basket with some cushions in it. “Sit. Lie. Go to sleep.” These commands were gentle. Later she peered past Nil’s prone form and out the bedroom door. The round thing’s face peered back.