Unconfirmed Reports

Over the last couple of weeks or two I have really been noticing a specifically male phenomenon: confusing conversation with information.

Some guys have a habit of constantly interjecting in conversation to air whatever knowledge they have on the topic at hand. It is an almost exclusively male habit - I wonder why? Maybe, like so many social pathologies, it’s simply to do with self-esteem: for males, being a wise and knowledgeable fellow seems to be a key source of self-worth - more so than for females.

On New Year’s Eve, there was one guy at the table who was just airing knowledge all night. Actually I like him, and think him an amiable person - but his conversational exchanges were limited, and made less entertaining, because he wasn’t really interacting so much as venting: I know this, this and this… and on that topic I know this.

I’m interested in what makes for good or bad conversation. I don’t think that intelligence or good-will are enough. There’s something else to do with being responsive, and making comments that have the characteristic of an exchange, rather than a speech. Information obviously has some role in conversation - but it’s usually the basis of short, functional dialogues. I think conversation that you enjoy is more about emotional exchange.

I started noticing this stuff because I think that I used to have the habit myself, of doing too much knowledge-recital in conversation. But I’ve been noticing it more and more in others (always males), and hopefully doing it less myself.