It has occurred to me recently that one of the defining national characteristics of the English is their love of apology. Indeed, nobody does apologetic like the English.
In the crowded public spaces of London, there is a constant low murmuring of thousands or perhaps millions of “sorries” per minute. I notice that many English will even apologise spontaneously when you bump into them, or even step on their toes in the tube. “Sorry” is often an all-purpose, spur-of-the-moment stopgap to fill any awkwardness or anxiety - in the small kitchenette at my place of work, I often find myself in a confined space with barely-familiar co-workers during the lunch hour; this typically leads to spasms of uncontollable, half-articulated sorries, which seem to result simply from the nervousness of encroachments on personal space.
So why are the English so very sorry? Well, it’s pretty obvious really - for where are they, as a nation, in the grand scheme of things? They are the once-Great Conquerors, foe-crushing imperialists who not so long ago ruled over the most geographically extensive empire the world has ever known. Countless nations on all continents were defeated, colonised and exploited by the mighty English.
Now, however, the Empire is all but over, after a century or so of decline. Even Hong Kong has jumped ship. And the English, now, are feeling rather sorry. In fact, they are very sorry. The party is over, it was a real blast - and, yes, things did get a little out of hand. Rather many people were killed, and a lot of national wealth and resources were indeed, eh, well, robbed. Continents were carved up in awfully inconvenient ways, that seem to have caused some rather drawn-out wars and conflicts. So the English would now like to say that they are sorry.
And they feel that the only decent thing would be to say it rather a lot.
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